In My 30s. With Kids. And Dating.

I don’t know about you all, but I mark the 4th of July as summer’s midpoint. Summer routines with the children are now locked in. The days are long with daylight peeking through my blinds as early as 5:30 am and the sky turning orange around 8:30 pm (at least for us in the midwest). Oh, and I love how the nights are alive with the sounds of nature and the laughter of my neighbors ending the day on their patios. Summer is my favorite season! I feel…well…balanced.

I currently have the house to myself. That’s right, no children! Well mostly, as I still have the family dog and we all know, they are indeed a child. She has been needy since the children have been gone. I mean, I am the lone human that can provide the rubs, fetch, and food. With this extra “me” time, I wanted to use it to pour into myself. That could be getting into an exercise routine, trying out new recipes, or even, you know, starting a blog that has been on my mind for the last two years. (Grins sheepishly.) But do you know how I have spent the last month? Working 12 hour days…for the corporate world. I have really been doing that to myself. So much so, that I am getting these dreaded migraines from the stress and probably blue light exposure.

I am sure answering this requires a therapy session that I cannot afford, so until then, I am going to enjoy what is left of my summer. No matter what, I am shutting that work laptop at 4:30 pm, at the very latest. (I can hear the snap of the laptop now. Sighs in relief.) I am going to start filling this cup back up so when my babies get back, they have a full mommy, and not the drained one they left. Saying that outloud and then typing it out has made it even more clear…I am cheating not only myself, but my babies! Nope, cannot let that happen. 

And for mothers who have their children 24/7/365 or for mothers that are single parents in a marriage – I see you and feel you. I do! I have been in both places more or less. I haven’t ever been married, but I have been in a serious relationship where I was the only one present emotionally, financially, and pretty much physically. (Another blog for another day.) I beg you to get connected with other women. Women know how and what other women go through. Please get connected to women in your church, women in your neighborhood, women clubs, gyms, etc. If you can just find one other woman that can assist, even if you just gain a couple hours for yourself, you can use that time to pour into yourself. 

And I am going to be completely honest and blunt here, not all woman have come to a point in their life where they feel they need to be filled. And that’s ok! Great for them, but DO NOT let them tear you down, make you feel less than for needing that time. And definitely DO NOT let a man do that to you…naw, we are not going to do that. 

Ok, now that I have that out the way, I want you to think or even write down either an activity that refills you. What gets you out of that burnout? After you have done that, try to implement it in this week. Aht, Aht, Aht! I don’t want to hear any excuses. If you are someone who does not have another woman that you can connect with, step out of your comfort zone and extend a hand to them. You never know, they may just be waiting for someone, too. I pray you ladies are enjoying summer!